Keeping Up With The Joneses
A hilarious look back over the last decade, taking in the pandemic years, through the medium of the dreaded round robin Christmas letter.
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Two families, thirteen years, twenty-six letters, a billion laughs!
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Full of quirky humour, social and satirical wit, and plenty of modern-day farce, this collection follows the lives of two different, yet grotesquely similar families and their annual struggles to keep up with - if not utterly outclass - their neighbours in the age of social media and the cult of celebrity. Readers will cringe as they all-too readily recognise aspects of their own behaviour as the letters comprise timeless themes of vanity, snobbery and a colossal dose of insincerity.
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🎼 Christmas time, camel toe and wine …… leggings too tight from snacking all the time! ’🎼
Heeeeeyyyyy Fam!
I can’t believe it’s already Crimbo time but my extreme blood to mulled wine ratio doesn’t lie. Why not pop on a glitzy reindeer jumper, make yourself a glass of the eggiest eggnog and sit back, relax and enjoy hearing about what we have been up to throughout the year!
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Who are the two families?
The Callendar-Carmichael family is headed by the formidable, self-styled ‘yummy mummy’ and wannabe influencer, Stephanie, and her husband Clinton, a senior civil servant. They have two children – Kimberley-Anne and Joshua. Born into wealth, Stephanie is the ultimate snob, taking an ultra-competitive approach to every aspect of her life, very much considering herself as ‘old money’. The Callendar-Carmichael family’s letters are (bar one year) written from one point of view – Stephanie’s.
The Butler-Smythe family is headed by gadget-obsessed Maxwell and his fiery-tempered wife, Cassandra. They have two boys – Tarquin and Ptolemy. Maxwell is a high-flying executive in the trampoline industry, and is able to provide his family with the luxury, designer label lifestyle they so crave. The Butler-Smythes have mastered the art of the humble-brag, and they do relish telling everyone how much money they have spent during the year on the latest tech, trendy sports and high fashion. The Butler-Smythe family’s letters (bar one year) feature contributions written by each family member.
What is the book about?
Each year, the two families write a ‘round robin’ letter for inclusion in their Christmas cards for family, friends, colleagues, and minor acquaintances. Designed to provide an annual update on their lives, the letters are impersonal, insincere, and rammed full of (not-so) humble-bragging. The two families are, somehow, on each other’s contacts list, but they do not know each other at all.
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Beginning in 2010, the letters tell the story of each family over the decade as they deal with new technology, the rise of social media, and the increasingly political situation in Great Britain. To a backdrop of the London Olympics, Brexit and Donald Trump’s presidency, each family’s letters tell humorous stories ranging from extreme farce to witty satire. For the Butler-Smythes, these include unfortunate incidents with pets, hobbies continually going wrong, and disastrous trips to Les Misérables. Like any family, they have a fair share of drama too. Third child, Cassiopeia makes a suitably dramatic entrance in a birthing pool, Tarquin explores his sexuality as he attends college, and Max and Cass even split up for a couple of years.
The Callendar-Carmichaels tell comedic tales of holidays that end up needing Bear Grylls’ level of survival, flirtations with reality television, and an unfortunate bag of shopping left in a hire car. Over the decade, the family expands with the arrival of two more children (Bobby-Jo and Khaleesi) and dramas include problematic tenants in their second home, Joshua going off the rails, and Stephanie herself being increasingly drawn into the world of online Trumpian/Q-Anon level political conspiracies.
As the letters enter the ‘pandemic years’, each family provide a uniquely comic take on living through a global pandemic with stories about staycations in resorts that sell only own-label alcohol, binge-watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and being quizzed about one’s living arrangements in Coffee #1. Who could have ever guessed that the worst elements of a worldwide pandemic would include toxic-smelling hand-sanitizer and competitive clapping every Thursday?
The family dramas continue for the Butler-Smythes throughout this period and include Maxwell being made redundant from the trampoline industry, Ptolemy losing his best friend and being unable to attend the funeral, and Cassandra attempting to complete Dry January. Oh, and Cassiopeia’s rabbit, Stephen, died. Meanwhile, the Callendar-Carmichaels have dramas of their own including Joshua coming home from juvenile detention and getting the girl next door pregnant, Clinton finally quitting the civil service to become an artist and Cassandra’s dear friend, Agata, passing away from Covid. Oh, and Khaleesi’s name changed to Wanda due to Clinton’s dissatisfaction with the way Game of Thrones ended.
As the book ends, in 2022, both families have reason to move house for a new start. In the shadow of the death of Queen Elizabeth II, each family move into a swanky penthouse apartment in Poundbury. They don’t know it yet, but they are now next-door neighbours.
Hello, sequel novel….